Monday 16 Mar 09

Today we buried our St Joseph statue by the for sale sign left us by Dana Orr. While we worked to bury St J, two blue herons flew overhead. A pair! I researched the totem for message:

"Lessons:

Please remember that if this animal is contacting you, it will often be the best resource for teaching you what its lessons are. What I write is only intended to be a guide, it is not absolute, nor is it infallible.

- Heron comes into our lives to teach us the power of precision. When we make decisions in our lives with precision, everything we do reaches a heightened level of effectiveness. We waste no energy, we conserve our internal power, and we save time!

- Heron represents the holy spear, and the concept of spear magic. This inevitably relates heron back to phallus imagery, and in some cultures this is reflected in its connected to male deity, and the sun. If heron has come into your life, it might be time to look at the imagery of spears and arrows, and start visualising aiming for your goals with spears to make sure you're 'on target.' The holy spear, is also the messenger from the gods, and heron comes into our lives like an arrow from the gods, to make sure that we're on target too."

http://www.wildspeak.com/vilt...

Sunday 22 Mar 09

St Joseph’s Day was on Thurs 19 Mar 09, and *the first offer* wasn't too good. Later on Friday, Dana called to tell us that our counter-offer had entire agreement! We signed the contract on the spring equinox day, 3/21. Unbelievable, this took from Monday to Saturday the same week.

Alas, I'm trying to stimulate interest in writing to myself. It's not as easy as it might seem somehow. Now I'm listening to Terry Gross and Fresh Air, having just heard Diane Rehm on Radio IQ. John's nearby with our good friend George, who's visiting from Alexandria (approximately 300 miles away,) and due to cruise back today after we all go out for a walk.

First and in-between times I'll be phoning several people to say yes and perhaps maybe, and to ultimately reconnect. I've let so many relationships lapse into a kind of limbo. You see, I have this philosophy about friendships that really matter, that they will always survive the effect of distance both in time and geography. Anyway ...

I'll be back to chat with myself the more.

So just a little note from Aunt Chester, "Don't call me Chester!"

On seeing these folks (now it's 1.5 years later,) they're all grateful for the results of their prayerful efforts, and laugh earnestly at those of us who just don't get it. I confess, I'm not sure even today that *I* get it; but I sure know who to turn to, when I'm in need of a prayer.

Sadness - we all experience it. Lovers know it. The poor may begrudge not having - yet the wealthy may be sad for the very having of it. One may gaze upon a sunset and yet know only his deepest sorrow. Another, amidst the joy of celebration feels only emptiness.

Sadness ... Sadness.

["from Out from Eden," by P.L. Travers; Parabola Vol. XI, No. 3]

It's interesting how my practice dwindled to practically nothing, and now is coming back from the dead. Seems that I'm no longer welcome to practice at RU, a situation that followed the closing of RU Clinics. I sure hope that turns itself around. During this Spring Semester, I've been working full time (yeah! and taking speech therapy such that by the end of the semester, I'm declared no longer aphasic!) Besides that, I've started seeing a couple of folks who are brand new to me, one has moved to Spain, the other continues even as we speak.

So my fee is such that wherever I am, that's how I have the clientele address their checks - not wanting the money to enter my personal holdings, since I'm already being paid FT. As always, this is my deal with the universe.

Should you drop by here, consider visiting my blog there! WELCOME!!

Hunting season's over. That means the gate's locked on the fire road from our house going toward the Appalachian Trail. We took the blaze orange off Gracie's suit (our 35lb dog;) John took off his blaze orange hat. Our hunt for hunter litter will be greatly reduced. We took our daily walk without care for being run down by hunter's vehicular traffic.

Oh happy day!!

People here at tBlog and beyond, have rescued me with attention. Now I've launched my life onto the path toward wholeness. On one hand my efforts have led me toward literacy volunteerism, requiring training which will happen in October or so. That's quite a slow path, but still promising!

On the other hand, my steps have led me to engage the nursing faculty head on. Listen to me, this is really big! In effect I'll volunteer my services to that group (especially to the Salem VA) and also sit in on lectures on Friday mornings. Somehow I've turned the corner on believing that this will be a problem to it will most definitely be a privilege.

There's an us-and-them in this. Them will be the Dr Wellborn's who claim my disability to be unmanageable as such. Of course Us is those in Speech Therapy (and the Brain Injury Services) who believe that there's more than one way to skin this cat! The trick will be in bringing Them in close enough to make them into Us.

But on the scale of day to day, I'm placing one foot before another, and glad to do so. Tally ho!

So now I'm up to getting myself to all my appointments. Some things I'll seek to do will unfold as follows:

- contact my university nursing director, and verify the terms of work agreement for upcoming semester
- connect with ladies who've been supportive, and have indicated reason to link up with me
- get with my brain injury specialist, who has brain-train software to share
- get with my Dr.(s) who will make up my treatment as time goes on
- participate in Speech Therapy: both at Carilion, and at Radford University, in a way that optimizes the work
- touch back with my Uncle Russ; who wants me to come up with times this June to allow he and Aunt Martha to visit
- get with the Skinners, who will go away for a week the same week that JT goes to NIST (I'm the one to care for their three pups - in the evening

and the list goes on!

My attitude is actually quite good. With some resolve, I'm quite able to have certain habits go quiet. For example, while hiking and while cycling, I've lost quite a lot of that old downhill anxiety. John always acts as if he doesn't know what I speak of! Only that certainty, that for every inch I go downhill, I'll pay on the uphill effort. He doesn't know it, but it's the *not* knowing how to transact it that gets me every time. (At least, that's the way things *used* to be! Now I'm not afraid to go uphill - I just do it.) Not such a bad deal!

You see this past week, I've secured my driver's license. This is really big - and my life will change exponentially as a result. Yes, I find myself a little frightened by expectations to become more independent.

These concerns are complicated by the tendency for my doctor to *want* me to claim disability (his specialty) - the opposite problem, if you will. He'll have me seen by neuropsychology for the final analysis: go to work, or wait. He's cute (right, at my age I can say this,) energetic, and full of himself.

Well, now I need to figure out how to approach Marcella next week; all I can do is tell her what I'm facing. More I need to tell her that I don't like it ... but, there we are. I don't like it. Still, I'm wondering about all those folks out there who struggle with head injury - real head injury.